DRAMA MADE BY THE GRAVE

Revisiting the
drama at the
gravesite
Updated Monday, January 13th 2014
at 14:46 GMT +3
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I was tickled to no end to discover,
by accident, that some scholars had
quoted yours truly in an academic
publication on culture and death in
West Africa. I laughed because it
seems I have written extensively on
funerals. They so fascinate me.
And so, because of a dry spell in
creativity, to death and funerals I
return. Are you aware that the
reason most people troop to church
religiously and even allow themselves
to be fleeced by crooks of the cloth is
because they are afraid of being
buried like pagans?
Tithes
So deep is this fear that upon death,
church operatives draw up in an
invoice of tithes never remitted, to
be paid before the good pastor can
string his collar around his chubby
throat for “dust to dust and ashes to
ashes”.
What everyone pretends to see,
however, is the ‘paganistic’ rituals
that ensue right before the pastor’s
nose. You see, where I come from,
every clan has certain burial rituals,
of course quite ‘satanic’ to the
brethren, that are held sacrosanct,
paramount being how you lie in your
grave and the direction your head
faces.
We don’t care whether you see visions
or have a direct line to St Peter.
The moment you are gone, after we
have gone through the pantomime of
pretending you are more Christian
than the Israelis themselves, we
proceed to the grave and your
remains are lowered to your final
resting place.
Paganistic
“Choir itupe wimbo (a song from the
choir please) the pastor intones. And
right there, as the man of God
robbed in white, Holy Book in hand,
sings imported songs translated into
our tongue, men of the clan open
your coffin and perform paganistic
rituals that include making you lie
according to the tenets of the clan.
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